Quoting wale wont save you from herpes
We discussed our relationship status. We're dating exclusively. And the conversation was followed by him saying "C'mon baby, let's make you orgasm!" .....I'm gonna marry him.
There aren't nearly as many guys masturbating on chatroulette as i was led to believe...i feel cheated
I made an oral joke and he laughed... That's when I realized I wasn't Daddy's Little Girl anymore.
The sigh of relief when u realize none of your drunk texts will result in permanent damage
Its raining shots and i keep catching them in my mouth like you with dicks shits crazy
The bald guy bought me a shot so I chugged it and then walked out to the middle of the dance floor and told an old woman that might be your moms twin to bend it over...We didn't end on a good note though. Dude she stepped on my vans.
I just went through the Wendy's drive thru only wearing a towel. My life has hit an all time low
The George Foreman grill is melted. I don't know what other problems could arise.
I woke up on his couch and my bra was flung across the floor and filled with animal crackers
he's a ginger AND was born with 2 holes in his penis. sleeping with a rare species & I LOVE THE THRILL
I will most likely miss you the least and fondly remember you as Mr. "I need a minute" but really need 24 hours and 4 extra inches.
then I ended up getting a lapdance from my TA...I love college.
Just don't do anything stupid
i did a stupid sorry
My boob job is like a master key that gets me in any door, any party and anyone’s pants! They’re magical!
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