btw, but what hole was i in last night? wanna know if i have to worry
a queef is a wish your heart makes.
When I told my mom I was having a rough time, she responded with "pop a xanax, take a nap, and when you wake up all will be right with the world." My mom is finally starting to shape up.
I know its hard to believe that I'm already drunk at 12 p.m. but I am, so dont call me asking to go to the gym.
she fell through a window trying to flash someone
She won't let me open the car door while we are on the highway so I can throw up outside. She deserves to have her car thrown up in.
You said your legs stopped working and then pulled yourself around the floor with your hands.
That explains the wood chips stuck in my nipples.
She had one unshaved part on her vagina that she called "the soul patch" I just didn't know what to think
It was like inception, a dream, in a dream, in the back of a dodge charger.
I may or may not be wearing slippers and a TMNT hat. This thing better not have a dress code.
I can feel your movements against the shared wall we are leaning up against. It makes me feel as though we are one. Queue Pocahontas song...
Might be using my graduation money to pay for an abortion.
I showed him my machete and then we made out in the kitchen
I figured if he was OK cheating on his gf with a guy, he'd be OK with me posting his number to m4m Craigslist Ads
He's got the good dick trifecta - flip phone, works outside, bed with no headboard.
Randomize
