I feel like I'm one of those people who someone looks at and thinks "how did she get into this college"
Best friends brother. Beat that.
You weren't lying about those ceramics students giving the best hand jobs.
the party we were at had security guards carrying paintball guns. that probably should have been the first sign
he might be the rich husband I pretend to love for the rest of my life!!!!
Don't let her tell you any different. She licked the balls of my hamster for that $100. It was a group bet. She won.
I will call him whatever I please, including flaccid dick on forehead guy but not limited to watermelon cunt head.
Thanks for letting me in last night. I was drunkenly sleepwalking.
In other news it turns out I like Heineken.. In a desert island kind of way
I think I'm drunk at the airport. Oh the possibilities
No I need this job. I actually contemplated buying a vibrator with my dad's credit card the other night.
So by "wait for me" do you think he meant "Don't have sex with random dentists?"
Conference sex doesn't count if the dentist doesn't know your name.
Made it to my hair appointment on time, and got some dick. Today is already a great day
Im playing a game I have to take a drink every time my gram asks me the same question hammered by 4 guaranteed
I once went to target high on hydrocodone. I assure you, they can handle unrespectable.
Randomize
