my brother is so whacked out on percocet from hurting his legs that he started crying because his belly button was so cute
DOES ANYONE KNOW THE NINJA TURTLES
And don't be too jealous. Drinking alone watching a chick flick and masturbating isn't nearly as glamorous as it sounds
Ive been using palmolive to shower with for he last week, dont tell me about not having money. Im heading to the bar r u going.
After Thursday my breakup "don't screw anybody out of respect" month will be over and I will be set loose. My pussy is purring with anticipation.
Good for him. He wanted to accomplish walking across niagara, I'm hoping to accomplish not throwing up tomoro nite, we all have our own priorities in life.
He asked me if I wanted to play "Edouard Mandevan," turns out that's French for Edward Winehands
Yeah haha but we have no idea where his keys are. Last night was awful. Him and Chancey were in a fully embraced bro hug at one point. Both crying.
I tried to order champagne at IHOP last night
Well, we ended up labeling the relationship. We are now each other's designated butt-toucher.
I also need to get my life together but instead I just eat spoonfuls of Nutella. We can't win 'em all
Just leave a note saying "riding dick see you in the mornig"
I would definitely ride that dick into the sunset if nuggets are involved
Pretty sure I got pink eye from the strip club. There is also still beer cans rattling around in my shower.
we are the best best friends ever. You had sex in an ice cream truck I had sex in a fire truck
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