rolled in at 7am w/ 2 girls i met at the strip club. my neighbor was getting up to mow the lawn before he took his kids to school. i'm 31. he's younger. if given the chance, you think he'd want to switch places?
I think you're the first person to ever call Louisville, KY a "romantic getaway".
it was like fucking gandolphs beard
We should tie ourselves together anytime there is any type of alcohol involved. It's the safest way. I either end up with freshmen or weird ex bfs. You end up with a large cowboy. This is not good for us
I have pictures of you scratching against the sliding glass door on your knees screaming how you felt like a lamb.
Im about to get a baby alligator stoned, what are you doing with your life?
You just wrote a check for drugs...pretty sure you don't have cash for beer..
Don't ever feel guilty about what you put in your mouth best advice my gma ever gave me lmao
I just singed the hair in my nose trying to re-light a joint. now all i can smell is burnt hair. day ruiner
I'm pretty sure "good advice you would give to a freshman for achieving success" isn't constituted by introducing them to your addy dealer...
it is my civic duty to ensure the success of our youth.
Happy hour crawl turned into power happy hour turned into tequila shots turned into I'm drunk in class on Cinco de Mayo at 7 am.
Remind me to tell you: When threeways go awry, my MLK weekend story.
Sustenance and doggy style.. the only two things I need
He's eating me out right now. That's how bad he is.
He thought it would be sexy if he found my clothes and dressed me, and it was..until he found a thong under his bed and assumed it was mine. It wasn't
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