I swallowed your vile semen and you don't know what color my fucking eyes are!?
He was from Iceland of course I didnt sleep with him, havent you seen Mighty Ducks 2???
I mean I found and stalk his moms facebook.. that obsessed.
Should we discuss the rug burns on my back or just save that for a separate conversation
Also, at 1:30 I emailed myself saying, "are you there Margaret? It's me, god"
Even the paramedic said "what a way to kill a party"
God you people are gross. Come collect your unconscious friend.
REALLY should have cleaned under my bed before I had my parents come help me pack...things my parents just found: several condoms and a bottle of lube. My mom when she found a condom: "ooo ribbed. Laura's a lucky girl"
I tried to talk to him, but he didn't recognize me at first. I had to show him the top of my head and then he remembered.
Side note. I love it when I think I've sobered up and then I get a second wind of drunk
I'm not drinking with you for AT LEAST a day
Letting Freddy Krueger eat me out = HAPPY HALLOWEEN TO ME!!!
1) Woke up alone with my bathing suit on inside out spooning an empty bottle of Jack, 2) get the fuck on to my level 3) please pick me up and bring a stuffed pony, some Oreo's and my pride...
but next to his bed he has a bible, and on the bible he has a pbr coaster and a condom. how can i stay mad at that? Its amazing.
How's the party?
I'm watching two people get flogged. Sothere's that.
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