so evidently yelling "gay" everytime your bf tells you how he feels is cause for breakup. news to me
My mom wanted me and my brother to have some bonding time before I left for school. Our bonding time consisted of us smokin a few bowls then goin to Red Robin to cure the munchies. Ooo how I love family time :)
If it makes you feel better, I doubt anything could survive in your uterus.
I wish we were homeless so drinking on the streets was acceptable.
welp wont be popping out a kid with a beret. frenchie is gone and the mother nature showed herself. bilingual kid can be erased from the bucket list
I don't know if it was his cologne or his Jesus hair, but he was much more fuckable than last time I saw him.
Now that I think about it, it may have been the 6 pitchers of beer.
I'm not really sure what went on in my mouth last night but right now it tastes like what I can only imagine is a mixture of astroglide and peanut butter. You hungry?
and then we all passionately sang "what if god was one of us" until everyone passed out in the grass
At one point during xmas dinner my whole family was double fisting. It was like thats how I learned to drink moment
He walked away from the girl that just blew him to hook up with another girl, and when she got pissed he just turned around and screamed, "SHE IS LIKE 10X HOTTER THAN YOU!" Then she went on an angry dick sucking rampage. There were 4 victims.
Apparently, the right response to, "How do you feel about a terrorist being in the area?" isn't, "Well, we have vodka in the freezer, so we're good for now."
He thought you were kidding about me peeing on my ex...and then I was like "that was one time"
I apparently got up in the middle of the night after fucking him and started looking for you under piles of his clothing
Too stoned. Randomly can't get the image of Emilio estevez's smiling face out of my head. What is life.
I can't believe the police had to bring me to my booty call last night
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