How do you know one of your one night stands hasn't produced a child? You may have hundreds of kids.
Pretty sure I don't. One night stands are purely anal..no exceptions.
oddly enough my penis is pretty tan. the part of my body that gets the least amount of sunlight is tanner than most of the rest of my body.
I think its part of male evolution. Pretty soon they'll have diamonds on them and taste like chocolate.
you'd think he'd be slightly more humble with a penis that small
No, that was before the police came, but after the hooker.
After throwing up in a tequila bottle on my nightstand (still not sure how she did that) she asked if she could slip into something more comfortable.
Went from beach to class to bar all while wearing my swimsuit as pants. Clearly I'm dressed for success.
currently shading my boobs to make it look like i have mass cleavage...thanks art school
just found out i can blow out the flame on the grill lighter fill my mouth with butane and ignite a fireball
"it's Wednesday" isn't a good enough excuse to take my debit card and use it for your own drunken needs. You owe me 250 bro
i have officially banned the recreational use of bayonets.
Weekend plan is a big bag of dope, delivery food, Bollywood marathon and masterbating my dick raw.
And as cleavage season comes to a close, so blooms a new season of yoga pants. And the people rejoiced.
right now I need to figure out a smart way to get an accurate picture of his dick so I know what in dealing with, right now in flying blind.
I literally just rubbed my stomach and told my liver to "hang in there baby"
Omg. We have to workout today. I just looked at myself in the mirror and thanked a god I don't believe in for drunken boys and dark rooms.
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