i know we just met, but i forget your name, and i'm wondering why my penis burns?
Is making out on a toilet while he is sitting down and pissing weird? cause that's what happened last night
i swear to god her finding her clit was like looking for a sock in a dryer full of beach towels
weed brownie and a latte, breakfast of champions
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I got out of bed with her to go smoke a bowl with her roommate which was fine but I passed out when I went upstairs to take a piss.
Yeah.. she's probably not gonna call.
I just want you to know that I hid the weed. Once you find another job, I'll tell you where it is. Happy Hunting, bro.
His penis is small and he doesnt like Harry Potter. HE HAS NO REDEEMING QUALITIES WHAT AM I EVEN DOING HERE
I can't sleep. My mind keeps asking "turn down for what?" but it won't accept any of my answers.
Why is "Oprah of drinks" written on my arms?
You said to write it on you, after you kept saying, "You get a drink, you get a drink, everyone gets a drink."
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
See, this is why you don't do nice things for people. You'll get stuck in the snow and you won't catch a dick.
If you're going to be single forever, you should try the quesalupas at Taco Bell.
The awkward moment your booty call shows up to the Mexican restaurant and realizes you just picked burritos over pussy
I've seriously never been more thankful for marijuana and my resting bitchface.
Just told my mom life fisted my asshole. She looked at me with complete understanding. I'm scared...
It was like I was gay for pay but except being gay I became straight and instead of for pay it was for coke.
Randomize