Hey, kurt drew a penis on you and wrote my innotals. I had nothing to do a/ that.
Weird question, would you want to do fetish porn? you get paid.
i wrote down the address for planned parenthood on the back of the receipt for the condom that broke
Honestly, it was easier to just put it in my mouth than to deal with an awkward conversation.
so i don't know how many beers it takes to make a recliner look like a toilet, but that's how many i had.
Fourth time I had to be woken up in the line of Whataburger in two weeks. First time my shirt was free of vomit.
Okay, lets just agree to keep all cutlery related activities to a minimum.
He kicked in the door just as I climbed on top of him...and stood there. I felt like I was in a porn. It was invigorating.
I think its awesome that i just got you to cheer for sex
Well sex is awesome. Sex deserves cheers.
It's not even close to Halloween but there is a girl in a nurses outfit. Twerk or twat.
The 4th is next week. If we don't get to a new level of high, we will be letting down George Washington.
Sorry, I thought I responded to your question. My name is Jon, we kinda had a sleepover at your friends place in OC. Don't know if you remember me, you were "dick chugging" like there was no tomorrow last night.
Chick in the reindeer getup puked on Baby Jesus last night. But then she bought us all empanadas so she's cool.
Hi,\n\nYou left your underwear in my Uber. Thanks and bye.
Sex in the backyard? Check.
Randomize
