I'm pants shitting drunk right now
i just realized that no matter how many potstickers i eat, i will never be asian
last night I thought his shirt said yale... but this morning it definitely says old navy.
If you want to dance with a less than stellar Asian chick, I have just the girl for you.
it will be a sad day when drinking racks of keystone isnt socially acceptable anymore
When i tried to give you something that wasn't tequila...like water....you kept saying it was against your religion.
I've always been the spiritual type.
being alone eating nachos and drinking from a giant munchen beermug really isnt that sad
He just said "fuck you" to the bowl he's eating things out of
how was it?
he was petting the bushes because they were "napkins"
I wasn't half as drunk as u but u were saying u were a "worm" and u tried to slither out of my grasp
I'm so happy I'm only on my second drink. That would have been the best idea ever if I was on my fifth.
Yesterday you said I was the best.
No. I said you DID your best. There's a huge difference.
He told me I was "too flexible." Excuse me?
I assume you passed out however I'm drinking jäger and beer in bed with my cat so your friendship world have been appreciated
He's a wizard, there is no other explanation for how hard I came last night. None.
Randomize
