Oh just a soda. I'm "driving"
he literally had a slideshow of all the girls hes had sex with pictures set to american woman
At my internship. I get drug tested tmr at 2
Are they going to pay you for the one day you worked?
all 3 of us brought blondes home last night. all 3 are passed out. we're gonna switch rooms and see how long until one of them notices.
Even the paramedic said "what a way to kill a party"
... They left for 10 minutes and came back with a lobster he's in the toilet downstairs
Just come get me. Somewhere there's hobo that's going to want his dumpster back, and I kinda want to be gone when he discovers the vomit.
I wonder if a fish could survive in vodka
I could
Thanks for fingering me to orgasm during Wu-Tang Clan
I woke up in an ill fitting childs tutu this morning and the shower curtain is knocked down. Wtf happened?
They also submitted to my demands for pizza
I'm literally the definition of crunk, sunburnt, and dehydrated. I'm going to die tomorrow.
And then he served me a piece of a brownie on his dick. It tasted amazing. Such a good night!
its Niagara falls. its like international waters. You can get away with anything there
I think a major source of concern would be the fact you snorted a shot. Who does that?
Randomize
