I'm drinking while my friends build sand castles, now I know how my dad used to feel
we're talking about where were going. or where we stand. but yeah we'll basically be doing it in the hallway so just ignore us
on of the only things i remember was the security guard told me i was too drunk for laser tag.
I want nothing more to get stoned and go to your little sisters petting zoo party but I need to have priorities
I have Retrograde Ejaculation as a side effect from one of my meds. Is this a respectable form of birth control?
They were actually really boring considering how we met them.
howd you meet them?
They got shit-faced and decided to take a train to a city none of them had ever been to. We found them wandering the ghetto, with a bottle of gin and singing Disney songs.
1 be hot 2 flirt with everyone 3 use hotness to make people do things for you. It's a simple model.
By the end of the night I was using him as a leg rest and he was handing me pizza rolls when I wiggled my hand. It's a proven method.
I don't think you understand. Its the best fauxhawk you've ever seen. I look like a gay dinosaur.
That's the most beautiful thing I've ever heard. Can I call you littlefoot?
1 tequila 2 tequila 3 tequila, floor.
*roof
This may be a weird question to ask someone who is 21 years old, but are you grounded?
We played table tennis, but used tv remotes taped to our foreheads instead of paddles. Every time your opponent scored you took a shot. I'm the current champion as of last night.
I just remembered that I insisted everyone watch porn together last night.
You took off your shirt and pulled out a bottle of cherry uv and a slushee. That's when I knew you came to party
sober me needs to have more faith in drunk me.
He flipped a shopping cart in the back room and had to leave to make a jazz playlist. If we aren't in love then i don't know what love is.
Randomize
