Midget sex pt 2 tonight
Dude I just witnessed a midget touching himself and singing the chorus to somebodys watching me by michael jackson... it kinda turned me on
Sometimes I think its so cool that a dick that has been inside kate moss has also been inside me. So exciting.
He looks like Jesus, if Jesus had let himself go.
I think I actually have rug burn on my eye.
So I woke up in a strange bed with a note taped to my arm giving me directions back to my brothers apartment.
did you know the cops in wilco have clean up kits in their cars for when people puke in them? i found this out this morning. i'm finishing paperwork now. come get me plz?
I only had ten dollars. So leave it to Katie to somehow makeout with the bartender, on his shift mind you, and get free drinks.
Probably for the best. My morning wood is pretty horrible. I wouldn't want to tip the earth's axis/ create a new magnetic pole
I know he's gay. But if he touches my vagina I'm human centipeding his face. Sorry not sorry
Throwing up into Nora's potty chair while simultaneously having beer shits was truly the highlight of my Christmas season.
Morning! Im using your rent money to snort percocet.
So far my survey results are telling me to pawn the ring. Thoughts?
Not sure what you smoked, but you put raw bacon on the lazy Susan and spent 45 minutes looking at it and mumbling Meat Spin
why is half of my head shaved?
Randomize
