So how was last night?
Let's just say I danced with the devil
Huh?
I'm going to Hell for sure
I'm so drunk I cant read cursive anymore.
my grand plan for the evening is to do shots of vodka til i cant anymore
So did the night end well for you?
I stole a traffic cone and drunk texted my sister because i couldn't think of any other girl to text
How the hell can the Olympic committee frown so much on weed and yet put on a show you would have to be high to actually enjoy?
He told me his mother taught him that move. What the hell do I say to that?
mid blow job she looked up and said "we aren't even facebook friends!"
Well, they emptied out the keg by the third kegstand for America.
Someone asked me what I was drinking, I was drinking rum, but I was also eating starbursts so i told them "daiquiris"
oh and speaking of men I've slept with. Ryan lost 1/3 of a testicle zip lining
When he was leaving this morning he said I'll text you later on and I replied with if you don't that's cool too.
why do i have a pole dance champion shot glass?
Why exactly is there a butt plug on the counter?
Invitations to sext will not be acknowledged until 10 a.m. EST. Thank you for your cooperation. We apologize for any inconvenience.
Apparently I drunkenly told him I was going to ride him to the rodeo and break him like a bronco, then I stole his nachos and beer. Adulting is hard!!!
Randomize
