I was watching truelife I'm transgendered. This tranny already got a date a week after getting a vagina. I've had a vagina my entire life and can't get a date.
People are handing out olympic condoms downtown, just put it on and it broke, this is how there trying to raise the population. Very sneaky canadian government, very sneaky
he legitimately fell asleep standing up at the club. everyone was impressed
Dude i think i got lasagna in my eye
Yeah, the furnace guy just pulled out 4 empty and 1 full beer bottle from the vent. You are no longer allowed over.
hey im home...im not sure how this mcdonalds got here but whatever im gonna eat it anyway.
It was an 11am booty call. We were both out of our element.
So the doctor told me that I am starting to showing the early signs of liver cirrhosis. Thank you Jack Daniels for making the first 26 years of my life awesome.
Man, you got so high you own goaled yourself in FIFA then got up celebrating.
My friend came into the apartment in real handcuffs at 4 in the morning. She was laughing and running around and then proceeded out the door...
Drug test isn't today. Now I'm just sitting in this orientation with a bag of your piss in my pants
sober me thinks like you do. drunk me needs sober me's advice. am i allowed to go to his house?
I wasn't going to drink tonight, but was reminded this is the anniversary of prohibition being repealed. If I don't, then I am against my profession of bartending and anti-American, right?
Nah leave him alone, he is at the strip club with his mom.
My vagina likes him more than I do, but I’m going to follow her lead and see what happens
Randomize
