Dude I just peed on my pants. not in them though. and yes there is a difference
he quoted Bring It On. It's over.
Just saw two guys having a lawn mower race, and their girlfriends cheering them on. Get me out of Tehachapi,
She was really sick last night--but i was too drunk to bring her chicken noodle soup after the bar, so went by taco bell and got her a chicken burrito instead
You kicked in the door when she was blowing him. You dont remember do you?
Note to self: semen does not count as food to take medicine with
I don't mean to insult you, but did you leave your training bra in my bedroom last night?
Ever since the Christmas fiasco of '08, I can no longer watch Rudolf the Red nosed reindeer without getting a hard on
I mean I'm not saying I have my life together but I did just put nerds in a bottle of champagne and then drank from the bottle
What are your thoughts toward getting nasty in a minivan?
I'm sorry about all of the innappropriate shoe throwing
I told ya. I'm super awesome at making things super awkward. I'm the Awkwardnator.
My Easter Basket from my parents consisted of one chocolate bunny and a massive amount of condoms and a single note saying "the pope approves of the use of condoms" love mom and dad
I dont know if hes kidding... but hes drunk and said hes going to shave his balls. Alert your emt friends
Buying a new pipe this morning, and setting up career plans this afternoon. It's called balance
Randomize
