Go study a dick amy that's outrageous
Did you ever notice that cashews look like fetuses?
I work with a guy that has a strong spanish accent. He just said "I have a plethora of ..." and I busted out into laughter b4 he finished his sentence b/c it reminded me of 3 amigos.
He finally admitted that he was drunk when I asked him how he got the rug burn on his chin and he replied "the worm contest"
he was playing drums on rock band as i poured bailey's into his mouth. tell me that's not a bonding moment.
Plotting your own moral demise should not be this fun
I'm gonna need a helmet and adult supervision by 9...
Eating a muffin with a knife and fork. Hangovers have hit a new low.
I still havent gotten an apartment yet, so I crash random college parties...get so drunk and then sleep on their couch
I have no idea. I think this is what happens when people take drugs in the middle of the day
She's dipping the chocolate graham crackers in marshmallow vodka for a 'campfire taste'
Just walked in on him banging another girl. He told me " sorry but I'm gonna finish now that I'm caught" ...... I think this is the reason god gave me four older brothers....
The cleaning lady has moved my vibrator twice now so I would say I'm pretty ready to move out.
I need a new best friend. Someone who drinks like a fish, hooks up enough to raise eyebrows, and isn't afraid to admit that masturbation is the second best way to spend time. Someone like me! Help me put up posters.
this case of pbr just wont end. i keep finding more.
Randomize
