I'm drive I can fine osifer
Is it normal that I have to take off my pants to get mouth stitches removed?
just drove past a church sign that said "jesus got 'er done" ... welcome to the south
I wish I had a dollar for every time I've slept off a late night I dont want to remember in my recliner.
Walk of shame was bad enough, but farting with each step as I walked past his roommates was just not cosmically fair.
Watching marley and me... this girls got me whipped man
You know you hit rock bottom when you make out with a guy named after a cereal.
It's not my theme song, it's my blowjob song. There's a difference.
I just found a GIANT thermos of sangria in my sink. I don't know if its still good to drink, but its good to drink.
You always have that cute deer in the headlights look. Thats what made showing you my penis for the first time so disconcerting.
Is it possibile to sprain your taint?
She was that bad?
He surprised me with a puppy tail butt plug in his ass and wants me to fuck him
Election Day 2016 shall forever live in infamy as the day when I hobbled through my neighborhood, mascara melting down my face, wearing one slipper and a cast, blood and cum all over my skirt, carrying a box of wine, and no one even noticed.
Can I get high for this class every tuesday? Its like a multi-sensory carnival acid trip.
Her blowjob technique? Picture someone attempting to drink a triple thick milkshake through a Capri Sun straw.
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