Sponge bath it is.
I hope you have a really shitty weekend. I love you.
i just overheard my mom tell my dad he should drink less so he could hit the right hole
Do you know a sam ****, im at the bar right now and lookin for some dirt on her to guilt trip her in to sex
she did the YMCA with her lgs... i think she forgot she wasnt wearing any underwear
And whoever invented the condom should be put to death.
Just so everyone's clear, it was already on fire when I got there.
When I said to shut up, I meant it. I'm sorry you have a bald spot now, but it was necessary.
I miss you more than I would miss junk food if I went on a diet. And you've seen me eat, you know how desperate I'd be.
I can wear a rubber suit at three am and spank someone's ass until its sore and fuck them three ways from Sunday. And get up the next day and do their laundry. As long as once in awhile they rub my back without expecting anything
The cat be actin like a 2:30 am poop is the time to tell me all about her thoughts and fears in life. No bitch, this is definitely alone time.
I just got a lap dance from a kid in the coconut bra... So not drunk enough for this.
I have bits of ceiling fan all over now
He held my hand in public and I nearly came. Like he needs to be inside of me yesterday.
I lost my cyber virginity to a guy I barely knew in high school while a Togepi Plushie watched.
Randomize
