one two three fourrrrnication!
make sure i look cute passed out on the couch.
I introduced him to the male G-Spot. Don't ever tell me I'm not experienced.
Just made nachos out of string cheese and sunchips and laying in my bed watching babay einstion..get on my level
i told them to call me paula dean as i was making all 10 for $10 boxes of pizza rolls in the microwave
He just walked into my room in a robe with a cooking pot of cereal.
yeah, we figured out that passing a joint between cars was a pretty bad idea
You know, it doesn't really count as a walk of shame if you guys showered together the next morning
Eric was just sitting there open-mouthed swallowing sake from that squirt bottle for so long the lady across from us leaned over to her kid and told him not to end up like "the big alcoholic one"
He sent me nudes and I told him he reminded me of Buffalo Bill.
So i stood up out of the sunroof while he gave me oral. Car was still moving. Exactly how illegal is that?
Can I just lay in bed and you pour vodka through a funnel in my mouth?
someone stole my phone at the bar last night, naturally, it led to me waking up in the bartender’s bed
I s2g I’m about to get ghosted by a 34 yr old and my Oedipus complex cannot take it
My life is in shambles. Just made a grilled cheese in the microwave on a hot dog bun
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