no weekend plans? you're practically married
just without the last name or joint bank account
i'd advise against both
i lost my phone in the process of getting a condom out of my hair
so it turns out, not only do the doormen judge the girls I bring home, but they rate them.
I wasn't expecting a boner of this magnitude
he/she has shaved legs and makeup on. but a spare tire stomach, high socks with high heels...a wig and glasses. and still talked like a man. it was a nightmare scenario
I have to think about this realistically and not with my vagina.
Tonight just try not to threaten to pee on the hot guys buying us drinks....please..
Sex last night was mind blowing. your wife is one lucky lady.
He took the Gold in Olympic clit licking last night. Canada should be proud.
The things I do for you. Not that I'm unhappy about it. I'm just saying you should love me.
Did you sleep with him again?
No! I just led him to believe that I would if he gets me booze. Do I have that little class that you have such minimal faith in me?
Dad just asked me to breathalyze grandma
If my dick was big enough to fuck the eye of a hurricane, I would.
Now it's a thing. He's kind of a creeper and now he's lotioning me. This is going to turn into a Buffalo Bull situation.
I'm now forever going to blame miss frizzle for making me the sexual deviant that I am today
When we were fucking he called me by his moms name then after we were done told me to call him. He's not receiving a call... What if his mom picks up?
Randomize
