My student's should feel privledged to see me tuesday after the amount of alcohol I consumed this weekend.
i remember too much of last night for it to have been successful
We carried on a casual conversation about plants while I gave him a hand job.
Repeat the weekend mantra. "I like boys with teeth, I need boys with teeth, I deserve boys with teeth, I will have boys with teeth".
i'm totally cool with all the dick sucking you're doing down there, but as your brother i think i'm supposed to warn you our parents will be home in 5
Just made a memo in my blackberry that contains seth's funeral arrangements. I have a feeling he has big plans for the weekend.
I'm so busy i barely have time to have sex with myself. I have to talk myself into it like an old married couple.
Went home with a male stripper who looked like Justin Timberlake.. I started singing cry me a river mid sex. When he sang along I fell in love
You know you're getting old when 19 year olds you've met on tinder advise you that you should start looking for a wife and/or the mother of your children
Poor guy. Tried so hard to get out of the friend zone. I had to make out with someone in front of him to put him in his place.
I think he thought I was too drunk to handle his parrot
I can't hangout tonight, I have a phone sex appointment at 10
Are you opposed to me trying out your penis?
she told him my safe word. I'm gonna casually work it into conversation and at him suggestively to see if he realizes i want to have rough sex with him
Eventually the conversation shifted (as it always does) to Sex toys.
Randomize
