I had the most spectatular hardon this morning. I think it was trying to reach you in Wisconsin.
Saying she let herself go implies she was actually holding on
Dude I'm telling you, conditioner is the best for jerking it in the shower. It feels great and afterwards everything is all smooth
Surefire way to sober up: discover that your car is being towed at 2 am.
I woke up from my nap, looked out my window, and saw about bout 6 people get tasered in less than 20 seconds.....could someone please tell me what's going on.
I've already come up with two plans that will probably end with me getting kicked out of here. You guys should come faster.
im probably shirtless right now with a bottle of jack watching horton hears a who. this is a judgement free zone.
When the officer tried to stop you, you just shouted your name in his face. repeatedly.
i miss our vodka / percocet laundry days.
Did you rob me and blame it on the strippers?
Quick! What do I wear on a 4 hour road trip with an older guy in the army I had pantomime sex with in a hotel a few months ago?
I'd just like to say before I start drinking tonight that not only do I not find you attractive; I don't want to hook up with you, suck your dick, be your "suga mama" or have your babies. Please disregard any texts, phone calls or voicemails that say otherwise..
i just called my dad a bottom. he agreed
He woke up & asked where his pants were then asked where he was then asked who I was. Been married 20 yrs. He was drunkest ever.
Are ropes allowed in during conjugals?
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