please. tell me to stop eating out of the trash.
apparentely "Beer Pong Champ" is not a profession, no wonder they havent called me back......
told ya
Bisexual people are plain selfish.
she's in the bathroom throwing up right now...what is the hookup protocol after she is done? what all can I do with her?
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Dad's drunk, trying to hook me up with a 43yo, and keeps saying one and done. Mom is on the verge of tears and disowning us. You missed a good birthday dinner.
Drinking with mariachis at jimmy johns.
think they'd let him outta jail for my wedding? we could have him back by like midnight....
There's a time and a place for everything. Except for getting wasted at a work event, puking in the parking lot, and sleeping in your car overnight.
So not the biggest tits he had his cock between. He could have lied.
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if i ever wake up in the morning and don't feel a boner in my asscrack then this relationship is over
I know, but the fabulousness of my baggies should not be what defines my business as a drug dealer.
I literally farted midsex as a siren for him to get the fuck off me.. No such luck.
And also the fact that I woke up sandwiched between two gay men is probably fueling my day
Currently playing charity bingo with coworkers so if u were ever gonna send a dick pic now is the time
I accidentally made jungle juice last night.
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