I'm sitting at the gyno watching cnn in the waiting room
Everyone is walking funny when they come out, ugh I'm not looking forward to this
I just foul balled at work. I had taken off my coat too… had to go to the sink wash my hands then go back to the stall and pick up my coat. I hope the guy shitting in the stall next to me didn’t figure out what happened.
My fight-or-flight response is really more fight-or-fuck
The view from the bathroom floor this morning is fabulous
Well they kicked us out after we started heckling the acrobats
My absolute favorite part of last night was after I puked in the ally, we rounded the corner and you screamed, "she's ok!" and everyone cheered
We're gonna have horrible, horrible babies.
It would just be icing on the fucked up cake we're baking, if he got me pregnant.
I told him he deserved someone better...then I told him he looked very fuck-able wearing nothing but sweat pants. We'll break up in the morning.
Don't tell me 'the Fonzie' doesn't work. Went to see Shakespeare high and gave the sign to the dude playing Macbeth. Now at a cast party getting blown. All hail the Fonz.
Those were some damn good pancakes you made last night.
Dude I've been in FL since Monday.
I think Jabba the Hut is dying in the stall next to me.
I left my ice cream out over night, it's melted, fuck this, I just poured Bailey's in it. Problems solved.
Vodka Red Bull is like your spinach if you were Popeye
Want a bet? I'm a kinky and determined motherfucker with a libido that is not easily stopped
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