FYI-Owning a kitty significantly lowers your chances of ever seeing mine...
She looked kinda like Mario Batali?
dear vagina, thank you for making it so goddamn hard to get pregnant. i love you.
i just drank the rest of the vodka . Btw why did we put candy corn in it?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Remember that crazy chick I've been ignoring and said I wouldn't bang her again? Can we start that again part today?
Just tell your wife to stay in the car because you are self conscious about drinking infront of her. Now you have a DD AND we can still have a good time.
Well that's another check off the sexual bucketlist of things I never wanted to experience.
Your boyfriend and I are bonding over your giant dick.
so serious though like its almost like I'm playing a game that's my life and Im always losing
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
What I've learned from glowsticks: glowing things are not safe to eat
Like I would feel weird too if you just cancelled our wedding, cut off all your hair and started twerking everywhere
Maybe. I want to have sex at the fire station, most likely on one of the trucks. I wonder if I can finagle that before I tire of the spelling and grammatical errors in his texts.
He wrote me a Haiku titled, "Let me touch your butt".
Wearing my one sleeve dress...thought you'd like to know I shaved ONE armpit lol
No I'm not high but I did cry for over an hour tonight because I realized that they never made a sequel to "Under the Tuscan Sun" with Diane Lane.
Randomize