i just puked in front of my entire floor a girl on crutches asked iof i needed help hahaaa fuck ima damn fool
Even if you were sober, spitters are STILL quitters, end of story.
dude, she masturbates with a ken doll.
Down at cameli's and some homeless dude just pulled out a taser. Awesome.
i'm not sure if i'm mentally prepared for this.. politeness? proper grammar? book reader ? this is a whole new meaning of the species penis for me.
dude. you ripped the mardi gras beads off the girls neck and yelled she didnt deserve them..
apparently the last bar didn't like my halloween costume with syringes filled with whiskey
He left his shoes, boxers and socks at my house & managed to walk home to his dorm without realizing anything was missing until 3 days after. That's the last time i'll ever hook up with a freshman.
Found your glasses drenched in ketchup on my driveway this morning
So how much of last night are we going to pretend never happened? Enough to stay friends?
For the record we tried to find 4th of july porn. Did not turn out well.
My attorney has my name in her roldex as need to hit that. Im gonna win my case
I WISH WE COULD PLAY THE DRINKING GAME TOGETHER AND THEN BANG FOR AMERICA.
I would like to dedicate my cray behavior this week to my uncontrollable hormones and wine. Both have totally Efff'ed with my life.
One three hour marathon fuck session and now she's divorcing her husband. Should I get business cards made?
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