can you have the cops turn on the gps locator on my phone...i just woke up in a Hooters uniform and I have no idea where I am...
yes i saw that this morning. it was my mailbox.
You were telling me about how you were gonna marry him, have his children and name them all woodchip.
Our relationship is like that beach boys song "help me Rhonda" and I'm fucking Rhonda. And Rhondas's the whore in case you've never heard it.
woke up with withdrawal cold sweats this morning. spring break must really be over.
How many bratwuest were you able to fit in your mouth at one time? It's me, Hans.
And before you get all mad cause I said "nipples," I actually discarded "you are so wet right now" and "you have such a raging clit-on right now."
That's called being sensitive.
I'm pretty sure I did the Macarena with a gay guy while shot gunning a beer
I just want someone to shove bread from panera down my throat
Why do guys insist on chatting me up this early in the morning? I'm just like "Dude, I look like the bastard child of Einstein and a troll doll. Let me eat my Hot Pocket in peace."
I can not believe he edited a picture of our three way and made it his profile picture
He bought me shrimp and alcohol and referred to himself as daddy. I am in love.
I have a weird question... did you bite my back last night?
He still want's to kick my ass for fucking his sister, probably a bad idea to leave the bar with his ex...
if I hear Wonderful Christmastime one more time I'm putting my foot up Paul McCartney's ass.
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