Idk if this white stuff in my shower is conditioner or... something else?
ONE NIGHT STAND. You have 27 minutes before the offer expires, so I suggest you hurry.
My right arm is handcuffed to my leg... Please help.
I'm one ex away from doing an entire victory lap of all of the guys I've hooked up with since second semester of freshman year. Single me is scary.
It's all good. The CSI guy came and I played the theme song while he in was in our place. The cops even laughed.
Ohhh. Its been awhile. Vending machine hotel condoms are $15 here who can afford to not get herpes?
Ur dog was like a damn middle school chaperone this morning trying to lay between us after what he saw us do last night
My makeup looks extraordinary for nine tequila shots, running four blocks, falling asleep with my face in the toilet, and doing the walk of shame across campus in the rain. And to think I'm single.
And then you told me I had large hands and looked like a girl who would have an illegitimate child that I never talked about
And then my hands went numb and no one believed me so I started putting peoples cigarettes out on them. Shitty idea i'll tell you that much
I think it was clear she was setting us up when she brought me over to you and said "Present!"
I'll have to text you later. Trying to have civilized conversations with the boyfriends parents when I'm 100% aware I just blew their son in the bathroom 5 mins ago. Stay tuned.
He just felt my tits to find out which piercing I lost.
I'm eating shredded cheese and chugging coke, until I can function again. I'm tingling everywhere
Heyyyy, naked guy in your kitchen, can i ask you a quick question about a legal situation in pb??
Randomize
