He like poked it twice with the tip of his tongue then left it alone. I'm sad.
You're the only chick there. That's not an orgy, that's called a gang bang...
Helping high family members not look retarded is what family is for
you googled "nude photos of celebrities you wouldn't expect to have nude photos", puked into the beer bong, and then laughed
I just spent all my babysitting money on red cups and beer.
People still let you watch their kids?
New discovery: conditioner is better for jerking off than baby oil. Fuck yes.
am i so blindsided by his great personality that i'm hooking up with an ugly guy?
i thought you knew
Fun thought: I realized the thing I miss most about him is dixie kong's double trouble on his super Nintendo. It's possible that I don't have a soul.
Yeah I remember doing the worm in my moms room. While she's yelling at me and I'm making seagull nooises
Ted is on HBO in 20 minutes...not sure if this or the drunken dance party I had at the bar to a N*SYNC Christmas song 20 minutes ago is the highlight of my week so far.
I tried to flirt with him by saying "catholics are cool" and he handed me a cup of water so i called him jesus and thanked him for the wine
I have so many feelings about this burrito
Also, you fell asleep with you hand on and around my cock last night.
on a scale of one to ten where does vomming from being hungover during a professionalism lecture fit
How did I get home last night?
We put your keys on a lanyard that asked anyone that found you to bring you home. A nice man in a cape, green shorts and a mesh shirt dropped you off this morning.
Oh. Yeah. Riiiggghhht
Randomize
