My girlfriend figured out who you are.
Does it bother you that I left your underwear hanging in a tree at the zoo? i think the turtles are enjoying it.
1 stripper is 160/hr. 2 strippers is 280/hr. it would be fiscaly irresponsible to only get one.
My vagina senses are tingling. I know your here.
On an unrelated note, i found out who duct taped shoelaces to my face
Well who could blame her. I would run away from me if I could.
we managed to melt a few different forms of plastic into the cannibutter....
My whole house smells like Spaghetti-Os and cat litter. I think I've failed as an adult.
You can not love someone based on who they were when they were 9. Does he know how many dicks I've sucked since then?
She kissed me, then said "mmm your face tastes like it needs my pussy on it."
I just bout myself an edible arrangement for myself and had it delivered to work. I even wrote myself a note. This is a new low for me.
I was fingering her and they busted into my room demanding to know who the best running back was, before I could say anything she moaned and said "Barry Sanders"
Who put the toilet in the living room? This is extremely inconvenient right now.
Umm I might be late. Also I am may or may not have mayonnaise on my ass
No. No. Fuck you! You can do your own grocery shopping.
Randomize
