Can you send me a pic of you vag, I'm sexting the guy and he wants a pic but I didnt shave
dude are you serious?
I know you already have a pic on your phone
BROstal carolina. Watching a boy drinking rum and coke out of a cup of noodle empty cup.
the hot woman interviewing me is reading jokes off the back of laffy taffy.... I'm getting laid and possibly a job
Christmas on farmville was waaaaay better than my actual Christmas.
There r osticjed everywhere
Well it's 2pm. Time for another game of "Who, What, Where". The game where you try to guess who this girl is, what happened last night, and where'd your shit go. I'm going for 1/3 today.
That's better than I've done so far.
FYI: telling a guy his dick is more impressive than you remembered it - they don't take it as a compliment.
We dropped so many bottles they would only give us plastic cups. We actually drank ourselves back to preschool.
Opened my purse to realize I have someone else's birth certificate. What happens to me in college?
I'd go lesbian for $50 and a good phone case.
haha it's ok, I asked people. I was like "I'm high and lost" and the dude just said "That's my life. Love it."
I told him I was ready for another round and he said, "after this part." What guy chooses James Bond over pussy?!
Also, let me tell you how embarrassing it is to match with someone who seemingly has their shit together at 4:45AM on a Thursday.
My fart just smelled like the inside of white castle, I mean spot on, no difference whatsoever.
It shouldn't be this hard to find someone who you haven't blown.
Randomize
