So I was gonna stay in tonight but the president got me motivated! I will not quit. Bars here I come.
My body isn't even mad at me...just disappointed
I'm trying to decide if I want to bring home my 'beer champion' trophy or my chem books.
I could tell by the Randy 'Machoman' Savage "hey brother" that you were beyond inebriated
She definitely looked like a troll, but I had take one for the team. Or at least thats what I keep telling myself
do you think the bartender judged us for asking for shots of well vodka and water chasers?
THE HALLOWEEN QUEST WILL BE PICS OF US IN OUR COSTUMES IN EXCHANGE FOR DICK PICS. IT HAS BEEN DECIDED.
It was one of those "how did I get to my bed and what am I wearing" mornings.
He was singing R-E-S-P-E-C-T to a stripper between motorboats while our HR manager cheered him on.
Sleeping with him wouldn't be considered hoeing out... It seems more like babysitting.
We're meant to be. Apparently God wants me to get dicked down pretty good too so I'm not complaining about destiny
He paid for a 5 star hotel suite and I raided the mini bar after he left. I think that’s bad karma. Want some pringles?
He walked into me masturbating to a framed picture of Bill Murray riding a t-rex
She had a toddler. It threw up and then some guy said party foul and put it on the porch. Going back next Friday.
i woke up this morning from the best one night stand. i made the guy mickey mouse pancakes for breakfast and when i walked back into the bedroom he said "marry me"
Randomize
