just got waxed at a place I havent been to in a while
woman didnt remember me then in the middle of waxing she announced that she just didnt recognize my face
Myspace is for pedophiles and tweakers in the 818 trying to hook up. I always forget theres music there too
are you looking for your table cloth? Cause I found it around my neck this morning...
Hey man your outta milk
How the hell do you keep getting in my apartment?!
its was like we drinking an entire bottle of mystery
just had a memory of me telling homeless mark that it was the year of the bunny and he said "you da bunny, girl"
As a female I reserve the right to put my ipod in my cleavage because I have no pockets and not get judged by other girls right??
That's not how these arrangements work. You don't buy each other stuff unless you break a sex toy. End of story.
Oh my God. He stopped counting at 22.. His senior year. I feel the STDs infecting my taint as we speak.
i'm covered in glitter and body paint WTF
We're showing the video later bring pizza
How many ballsacks did you see last night because I saw eight
Being single is awesome because I can still drink a bottle of wine and hate myself, but I don't have to shave my legs!
I'm graduating college in 4 days. I already miss the bad decisions
I woke up on the green space outside our dorm cradling a watermelon and sucking my thumb. College is crazy man.
I'm not saying it wasn't great. I'm just saying sleeping with a gassy, depressed,45 year old mother was a different experience. Would do it again though.
Randomize
