So im pretty sure the object of my emotional onterest is tired of playing with me....
Just saw my gyno in public. Weird to see her hands outside of my vagina.
there should be a rule against ugly people hooking up.
yeah...but then what would the ugly people do? hook up with pretty people? yeahhh..don't see that happening in the near future. plus i'm not okay with that.
got into a fight with a bouncer over who's moustache is better again last night...
Cops busted the party. A kid dressed as a dinosaur tried to crawl out the bathroom window but his tail got stuck. It took 3 cops to pry him out.
No, I googled it. Apparently, male thongs are the next snuggy and a lot of guys love wearing them for the support.
Apparently while trying to get up from vomiting in the toilet I grabbed the seat cover for leverage and smashed my own head between it and the bowl. I don't remember this.
I haven't seen her in ages, how is she?
Well I woke up next to her this morning so I guess I would say she could be doing better
Time is so short and I miss you. (I just watched that commercial where the people all laugh and get older and die.)
Kings cup with teenagers tonight
Done deal
What kind of scumbag goes to a baby's 1st birthday party with a black eye? This kind. Me. I'm disgraceful.
Got too starbucks. 3out of the 4 girls working i have ducked and haven't ever called. My coffee has dick written on it. It may contain spit by pumpkin lattes are only once a year
He's getting Easter eggs filled with weed or Jell-O shots for his birthday
Have you ever gotten so angry that you stripped in public?
I lost my voice. So I'm going to pretend I'm Ariel with legs today.
Randomize
