I have got to lose weight!! Apparently no one wants to fuck a fat chick with herpes.
Haha oh wow he'd be perfect. He's got everything MTV looks for in a real world cast member. Gay. Tool. From Methuen
We each get one free throw up cleaning, no questions asked.
And I can taste the vodka through my ears. Good god.
The mystery gender stripper never showed up with that party burrito last night.
Is shaving my mustache contingent on you sleeping over tonight?
Do u feel more socially accepted since someone else made up their girlfriend too?
Now I'm obligated to stay and cuddle with her because the condom broke. Fuck.
So again no comment on the cleavage. I'm a bit disappointed. If those girls come together to make cleavage AND I send you a pic of it, you have to comment on it. That's like relationship 101.
Blow job season was short but glorious.
There's an owl outside. I feel like he's hooing directly at me.
There is a stockpile of mangos and vodka in my backyard and I'm at least 90% sure you had something to do with it.
We had sex to Hey Arnold, Rugrats, and All That. I feel like my life has come full circle.
It all started with a game of naked twister.
We've been fucking like crazy ever since she quit her job..ive been running errands all day to stay out of the house and give my dick a day of rest
I hate my life now
Randomize
