I just woke up with a girl who has left and right tattoed on her wrists. In french. I may need to stop drinking.
There is a girl in bio drinking beer out of a starbucks cup with a straw
He yelled IN THE FACE!! while cumming on my face.
Awww. A guy on the train just took his coat off so his girlfriend could throw up into it. Who says chivalry is dead?
You kept referring to your penis as "this guy."
they would be such cute babies and they would grow up to have huge dicks. and that would make me proud as a mother
I literally was just rolling on the ground and said to her 'this is what dying looks like'
His arresting officer when they were busting up the squat party recognized him from the anti-drone protest. He was like Jesus kid, you were sober last time.
Who are you to come into MY house and tell me when I can or cannot take my pants off?
I think I sent pictures of my boobs to an Olympic athlete...
I stole the butter cup cuz i brought home my rolls and chicken and didnt want the butter everywhere. I miss your body because its amazing.
As a BFF it is your duty to answer when I drunk call you at 3 in the morning because I couldn't find a knife to cut that cake. I finally found one, fell asleep with it and the cake in bed. K thanks bye.
I wasn't going to drink. Then there was alcohol so I gave that up.
If I ever say "I'm never drinking again" just hand me a bottle of jack. I'll snap out of it.
yeah. i tried to refuse to leave unless the burger king himself escorted me out. that didnt fly
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