Can Purell be used as lube?
so i told him i still liked him. he laughed
well, your crazy. what did you expect?
There's an australian, my relationship has no hope.
I feel like I had eight dicks in my mouth
I just tipped the cab driver with pistachio nuts. And he loved it.
Would be fun, plus since its in public I'll keep my penis in my pants
just saw a guy snowshoeing to the liqour store
was it you?
...yes
She's been drunk for three days now
Like three straight days. 72 hours
She's been covered in glitter for the last two and somehow she found a monkey
Let's hurry up so I can puke at home instead of my van
She put a shot in my mouth and then hit me with a pillow..
I went down on her on the dining room table. That should count for something.
Ended up at the strip club, got told I should be a dancer 4 times, got free tacos and my hot TA slide in the dms. How was your night?
I just want to see his penis in the light. Is that a crime?
When do you estimate your next shower will be? Several people have asked.
Ya, It's probably because whenever I close my eyes I see a kitten playing a banjo.
Randomize
