so... another position just opened up(704) Oh really?(704) Is it John's?(704) Or did you find a new way to take a penis?
I found the seven page love letter I had written you. I'm sorry i was so obsessed.
She really thought E.D. was a sexually position.
Tequila shots with cinnamon and orange write it down before I forget
I just dropped my cookie in my glass of milk and looked at it for ten minutes. Thanks for telling me you made weed cookies.
you pushed her into a kiddie pool and knocked out her front teeth... and you still managed to get laid. what. the. fuck.
Wait, whatever happened to locking our vaginas in closets?
after you left he started opening his bottles by smashing the neck against the edge of the fireplace and pouring beer into his mouth. it was about the manliest thing ive ever seen. its probably how lumberjacks open their beers... if they didnt have their axes handy.
We could have had it all. And by all I mean sex in your Toyota Corolla.
This may be a weird question to ask someone who is 21 years old, but are you grounded?
We should just do therapy together, clearly we have all the same issues. It's why we are friends.
so dehydrated I couldn't fill the pee cup to the right line for my drug test for school. I was like sorry it was my birthday yesterday
He also deemed that the fact that I couldn't log into Netflix was not an emergency. He's wrong.
I know. I'm a saint. Saint of sitting on faces.
Hey man, he's too drunk to remember what you said. What drugs are we buying and when should we expect them?
Randomize
