Kiss
Puke
In regards to your tweet: as its been said on all of those posters on ffffound: keep calm and carry on
i think i would be perfectly content if, on my deathbed, i could look back on a life that didn't have any fisting in it
my head feels like I tried to put alcohol out of business last night
its no coincidence her full name and "cling" are the same in t9
Slugs feel like vagina... thought you would want to know
dunno man, last I saw him he bet me he could eat more ranch the me, then ran off
Look dude, you cant keep blaming everything on the new years party. Its february...
If I wake up with an unknown penis in me one more time I am literally going to press charges to the makers of tequila.
drunk caitlyn doesn't know how to work gmail. so know an email has been sent to the entire campus with a picture of me naked eating a bagel attached.
Best part about a crippling state-wide drought? Actually having a valid excuse for not showering
holy shit the woman im hooking up with is closer to my moms age than my own
I'm so cold without your freakishly high body temperature
that's the equivalent to a normal girlfriends. 'I miss you' btw
…wtf were in those pills mom gave me
That guy I hooked up with in new york last 2 statuses are "I'm going to be a father, it's a girl" then "wow syphilis sure does burn" I'm legit scared... What has my life come to.
Randomize
