So I just had this crazy idea, and no it has nothing to do with the fact that they made me take shots at work.
Why on earth are you answering my texts promptly? Thought for certain you'd be caught up in some ridiculous orgy by this time.
I'm that good.
How does she give head with a nose like that? It looks like she has a plantain stuck in the middle of her face.
3 inches of snow, below zero windchill and i just saw a dude in a wrangler with no doors, shorts a beanie and burton snow goggles. God i love college in colorado
They past out watching a re-run of the 1984 presidential debate on cspan
You don't know the meaning of what the fuck until you wake up naked and alone in someone's bed staring at a dead squirrel on their dresser.
also, did you notice that when he quoted your email he used MLA format?
There were penises being pulled out everywhere.
The party went downhill once the fire department had to be called to put out the kitchen fire.
I misjudged the power of my pelvic thrusting capabilities. His nose is broken. Thoughts?
Maybe there is a secret pocket full of cocaine in that spiderman wallet.
Teacher vividly described one of the times he did shrooms, sat down, sighed, and told everyone to go do drugs and let us out 15 minutes into class. I love community colleges
Dude. $3 Jack n Cokes AND Cheesesticks... Find me tomorrow plz
He's throwing Skittles into my cleavage and some are rebounding into my crouch.
Well he's scoring either way then.
Stop trying to get me to choose vodka over a nap
Randomize
