OMG MY MOM JUST ASKED IF I WAS GETTING PAP SMEAR TOMORROW VERY LOUDLY WHILE WE ARE STANDING IN A VERY PUBLIC LINE.
drinking warm bud heavies i found in the garage and googling how to tell the gosselin kids apart.
I would like to apologize for making you the target of my "I wish head hair grew as fast as Pubes speech" the other night
It's all good. The CSI guy came and I played the theme song while he in was in our place. The cops even laughed.
Found her with a stray dog now called champagne, crying about how she feels a mom now. Had to take her home. The dog too.
Even completely stoned shes amazing on the piano. There are like 7 people sitting on the ground listening to her like she's the messiah.
It's only Tuesday and I just measured and checked to see if my 6'5 Friday booty call will fit in the back of my jeep comfortably.
The only way I can describe the noise he makes when he has an orgasm: dying walrus.
I've never had goosebumps on my dick before. It was definitely not a bad feeling.
I'm actually drinking gin and juice out of a floridas natural carton...so if that has any indication of how I'm doing
The only joy I have here is being able to shit with the door open.
I get stoned and write a 15 page history report in two hours. She gets stoned and cries because she "doesn't know which shade of pink is the real one".
Leaving Denver airport I just saw a group of young Republicans in matching green T-shirts that said "4/20 Baby!"
wow wtf man i was the friend bailing you out of jail with 500 cash and you didnt have the common courtesy of waking me up for class when i passed out drunk and naked in the bath tub
I have easymac and six pack of beer. This night can't get any better.
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