that's the second time you've been mistaken as a prostitute. maybe life is trying to tell you something
its my fault though, i'm wearing tights
you're hiking in tights? you remind me of dennis quaid's fiance in the parent trap
It wasn't awkward until he started humming the Rocky theme song in the middle of fucking
whoever created level 16 on brickbreaker is a dick
regular news: took many shots of tequila.....bad news: woke up with a toothbrush and vagisil next to me.....good news: clean as a whistle
get over here now. the boys are doing shots of everclear, chasing with monster, and some dude jsut walked in with a backpack full of tattoo gear.
her best friend is in town and she told me that they used to fool around when they were drunk and I'd have to "help keep that from happening"
you motherfucker
I'm all for hockey players but dude, he asked me to lick his chipped tooth mid-hook up.
Had a dream I beat up niall then madeout with him while snorting coke out of a dragons egg
Sex followed by chicken and waffles... Hands down my favorite morning plans. Count me in.
She asked me to come on her OkCupid date with her
We smoked a huge blunt and then laid in bed naked eating strawberry shortcake good humor bars. We have the perfect relationship.
Everything is covered in gelatin and pam cooking spray. Jesus be a shield.
I got very very very high last night and bought a cotton candy machine on eBay
I just had a dream that I was fighting Donald Trump... Gotta stop watching the news before bed
There is an episode of "how it's made" on tv right now. The subject is tequila and water beds. Basically my life.
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