I puked in a mailbox on the way back from your house.
finally nailed that neighbor chick. hopefully i can get her wireless password now. free internet trumps moral standards any day
the next morning i told him i was impressed that he remembered my name. he said it wasn't that hard when "tracy
found the other keg... it's in the tree
it's not cheating when I paid for it
he was already passed out before we got there, so i already knew i was going to like him
You were pretty committed to that cat costume. Between pukes, you would meow and assure people that you just had a hairball you couldn't get out...
I found him CRAWLING across the garden. He saw me,smiled,and asked for a napkin.
I just found a weed leaf in my leg hair..
Nothing tops off the night like giving emotional and spiritual guidance to a 70 year old transvestite.
He FaceTimed me fucking his new girlfriend. He was wearing a banana costume.
Not only did she fulfill a life long dream of mine of banging in a library, she bought me subway for lunch. I feel like I got the best gold star ever today.
Yes. I'm realizing that sports games are good reasons to drink. I just cheer when everyone else cheers.
i got drunk and started dancing with the plant because you were out of town
It's very finicky. Like baking. or BDSM.
Randomize
