Its way too early to be sitting naked at his dining room table...
OMG THIS GUYS LICENSE PLATE IS GETTNHRWET
i have more money on itunes than i do in my bank account... college.
i lnow ive slrrwsdy teted you this. but goddamn girl on tv is a good song
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I remember sitting there at the toilet, bleeding everywhere and thinking, "I walked from my bedroom to here. What happened?"
He's a waiter, looks 15, and told me he loved me after only talking to me for 30 minutes. I told him I wanted a margarita. We got 3 free pitchers. I may have to make this our regular Wednesday night hangout.
and after i failed the breathalyzer i said to the cop "i've never been very good at tests"....
You went home with a man in a loincloth
I just watched him leave in half a loincloth. Don't you just love Halloween???
Woke up on the floor with shoes on my hands...I'd say it was a success
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
he had hair everywhere except his balls
My neighbors are white girl rapping to Hamilton again...
I woke up in my neighbors backyard with glitter on my teeth and sparklers super glued on my bra. which part was your fault?
ATTENTION: just found out of have strep. if we have had sex in the past week, might wanna go to the doctor. if you plan to have sex with me in the next 20 days go buy some condoms. stupid antibiotics.
Now that I'm sober I feel the need to tell you that I'm not really a fish whisperer....
How early is too early to start day drinking? Asking for a friend
About five minutes ago. You’re good now.
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