Its not like he dircectly choose a cheeseburger over sex, it was more like I said seductively "I really appreciate this and I'm going to make it up to you anyway I can" and he replied "i want a bacon cheeseburger"
i guess he just knew i was going to sleep with him either way
i don't think my family understands the severity of a twenty first birthday.
I thought about puking over the balcony or the bathroom and figured the balcony seemed much funner.
not much sitting here stoned eating my little sisters halloween candy and judging each individual hersheys candy bar and after much deliberation by the selection committee the original hersheys chocolate bar won
That gas station is used for only two things, picking up moonshine and getting murdered. Only two outcomes.
Vague recollection of me ripping your shirt off at the bar... I hope I asked first, otherwise that's real rude.
I swear the crows are laughing at me.
You my friend are stoned into submission
It's still to early in our relationship to tell her I was sleeping in my car
It was total unicorn galloping on a fucking rainbow awesome.
Yeah, I only wore tennis shoes under the gown. Way cooler than khakis and a shirt, but much more awkward when my parents wanted to go to dinner immediately after the ceremony and my grandmother started to unzip the gown. Stopped her before it was too late, but barely. My dad just rolled his eyes.
Just saw the ex while I was at CVS at 3am buying Depends for my heavy flow
Well the term Party is used loosely in this situation. Since it will just be mom wine drunk and us eating chips with multiple dips.
Sorry I steam cleaned at 1:30 in the morning and that i'm such a drunk dumb child. On the bright side, my carpet has ever looked better.
What do you do when you legitimately find a hidden sex dungeon in your parents basement next to your bedroom!!?
I kinda realized titty fucking is purely for our enjoyment, they dont really get much out of it, except for a guy sitting on them and and a dick bouncing of their chin
Randomize
