well i just puked at a family gathering so i can cross that off the bucket list
Sober Sundays just aren't working out anymore.
You sir are most definitely in. Better get your penis an umbrella as that bad boy is gonna get soakkkkkkeddddd.
He told me to put on my big boy pants, then take them off and fuck her before he smacks me with a chair. His pep talks suck.
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I got to explain to the guys at work today how i had no choice but to go to a gay bar because I was handcuffed to a lesbian.
Having a vagina does not stop me from believeing my balls are bigger than yours.
Have you ever stopped and thought "I do NOT want to be inside of this person right now. Or ever." Because you should.
he's had a change of heart. and besides, we could use a laugh.
oh, well, if you all need a good laugh, by all means endanger my life.
You introduced her by saying, "This is the girl who sexes me." Then you passed out on the coffee table.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So vagazzling was a success
Your ex roommate is making out w the kid who pees on floors and it's kinda funny
I just brought her a lipstick taser. So just remember that the next time you get smart with her
do you think that identical twins have the same size junk? i just want to know your opinion before i find out.
You spent twenty minutes waxing poetic about her ass and her thighs
I just recommended that the library purchase the first major hentai with tentacle porn. Really, I'm doing everyone a favor.
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