Did I miss anything?
A gay irish pirate, a caveman and hunter s tompson.
so we also did drugs
I want you to know that after i type the word "your" vagina is next on my predictive tex
Let's pretend this is a good idea before I change my mind.
all she had left on were here heels. phone five
its not that she doesnt like having sex with you, your balls just smell worst then your ass.
woke up with the dennys waiters MYSPACE link on the back of my receipt...yep one of those nights
we didn't have anything to do and wanted to get our money's worth out of our costumes, so if you see two mermaids day drinking by the creek it's us
I know. I know. The man who pulled me from my mother's womb was the same man who had his fingers in my vagina today. My life is a joke. I don't know how to feel about this.
I don't know... But I do think this is probably the longest series of texts we've written discussing your cock. David was right, it is a brave new world. Also, slow day at work again?
He took a picture with a naked dude. I think he just walked out of that deep ginger closet.
Ya he's the booze devil, like if the black hole and Bermuda triangle joined forces with Captain Morgan
Its like he woke the dragon, and the dragon is hungry for a good dick.
Pretty sure one of my drivers stopped to get laid while he was delivering a pizza. Is it appropriate to give him a write-up AND a high-five?
Well I'm nervous now about the consequences of letting you loose
It's a big decision, I respect that you need to think about it.
I kept falling all over the place and yelled at the bouncer you can't kick me out I'm from Texas.
Randomize
