sooo how much is appropriate to spend on a vibrator? what if it is really legit looking?
Overheard: "his girlfriend fucks him with the lights off. It's not serious."
lmfao. well really. it's not love if you cringe at the site of his anus.
I knew you were drunk when you poured scotch on a croissant and ate it.
I'm sorry but all I really read was "my nipples will get hard."
I know I said that I'd stop dating 20 year olds... but at least this one's not my student...
Well someone has to be the Christmas slut at the family dinner. I suppose it's my year to fill those shoes.
We were destined to go to rehab together
Is he gonna be my crazy ex? Cause we weren't even together for as long as my weeklong bicurious lesbian relationship.
all i tweeted was "emergency this is not a drill" and he immediately texted me asking if this was a subtle booty call…it was
I think the lady at jack in the box started crying when we put in our order.
Sexual favors are the only currency recognized by the Republic of Greg
You are talking to me during sexting hours. Be careful, innuendos are taken seriously
This will never work. His dick is smaller than mine.
Wow. And yours is kind of small.
RIGHT?
No I will not paint you for Mardi Gras in town. It is going to rain and you don't need another ID charge
The waxing lady fingered me during my brazilian. 40 dollars well spent
Randomize
