I'd rather watch my mom take a shit while reading the sunday new york times than watch mama mia .
i like that octo mom she is my favorite xmen
after we finished, she said she had been a backup performer for Cirque du Soleil. THAT flexible.
just had to re-breakup with her. it was like shooting a dead horse that was crying and talking.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I had something called a trashcan. Never again. I almost fucked chewbacca.
you dont understand this isnt a sit at a sports bar eating wings and having a beer night. this is a show up to the bar with a fith of Jack and just let what happens happen kinda night. im expecting to smack a bouncer
Ok let me change into clothes i can run in
New rule: gentleman callers are required to bring me gifts of beer when coming over to court you. Tell the monster jam dudes so they know.
You yell at me for giving you beer but not for licking spilled beer off your chest.
So what did you do since you didn't go out?
...ate chocolate and watched bring it on....it's like I don't even know what it would look like to be straight.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He FaceTimed me fucking his new girlfriend. He was wearing a banana costume.
I just started an apology with "so I'm sorry about throwing the Brita at your head last night..."
Don’t fucking talk to that dude from monday!! Ethical consumption dude, don’t fuck shitty guys
Because of you I'm damaged goods. I'm a fucking soup can and you dropped me.
There is a huge naked guy in the kitchen with the boner of a lifetime and what I believe is an assault rifle casually resting on his shoulder.
its a comptetion of fuckups and im HERE TO WIN
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