You stood up and started yelling"Free blow jobs!" because you thought people would like you more.
So I don't think its herpes anymore. Could be a sign of diabetes though. Is it bad that I consider getting diabetes 'dodging a bullet'?
benefit of terrorism--they won't let you buy random one way plane tickets to random parts of the country for no reason nonmatter how high you are.
she had a pic of herself in a bikini as the wallpaper on her iPhone... I'm sensing a Tyra banks kinda girl. shit.
Dude..masurbate with cocoa butter lotion..its like cocoa pebbles just gave me a hand job
I would personally love to see the surveillance video of me throwing my stuff inside, peeing on the sidewalk, then crying hysterically when I realized I locked myself out. Again.
Um...celebrating is an understatement. You flashed the guy at the mexican restaurant and then screamed, "It's just my bikini, I swear!"
I tripped over a vacuum cleaner and fell into a beer pyramid
This is what happens when you live with someone you met on Grindr
I am sending my doctor an XXXMas card thanking him for my tits!
The Blue Grotto manager called. He asked me for your name and number. Apparently, on reviewing the videotape he noticed you consumed a whole pizza by yourself. He indicated that he has a tshirt for you and wants to put your picture on his eating wall of fame. Apparently, you are the first such person to complete this incredible feat of eating. Congratulations to you!! I am so proud.
I love you so must. You as do fraty. You are truly my veste breakable (ties I wtf racket Andover). Luce you. Have a safe drive bio dough failover.
We just catapulted a jelly bean off of his hard dick into his mouth.......Happy Easter!
You use your abs way more than I realized. Btw multiple orgasms is the best thing I've ever discovered.
Like bruh, I’m a free range girlfriend
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