Woke up this morning at my parent's house. No idea how I got here... what happened last night? Was it bad?
We using my standards or yours?
Ok I won't set anything on fire if you wear pants all night. This is a bet we're both destined to lose.
we took turns throwing up in the kitchen sink last night...no i am not doing the dishes
The only thing worse than cracking my rib on a slip and slide was having the doctors laugh when they found out in my medical history that I did this exact same thing last summer.
I just hotboxed my laundry basket.
Just ate a whole pizza by myself. Wearing my indian headdress again. its really cool with the french braids. I look like fucking pocahontas or some shit.
I found him passed out against a dryer in the girls washroom, in front of an old woman was trying to figure out how to dry her hands.
Oh. My. God. You texted my mom "IM BACK BITCHES!"
Running my fingers through my hair was like that scene in Patch Adams where the old lady got to swim in a pool of pasta. I love Molly.
As planned I took it to the limit. Then we met a new limit. Now they are limit friends.
I found three naked dudes in your bed this morning. Did we have a really weird break in or do you need to tell me something?
She stood up through my sunroof the entire drive home. screaming her ass off and singing free falling..
Just packed vodka and spare underwear into my purse- totally set for watching the hockey with him tonight
A black cat walked my drunken ass home last night and made sure I made it back into the apartment safe. Sat with me for 30 minutes as I struggled to unlock the door. Guardian angel or drunken hallucinations?
i just want a beer and a blow job. is that so much to ask?
and i just want a ring so i can stop faking it. is that?
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