Hey sorry i havent responded. i threw up on my phone while i was sleeping
My mind says no, but my body says yes.
What does your body say about chlamydia?
The bar posted my picture because my name changes with each new fake i get. i'm getting a wig.
my life has come down to walking through campus and wondering if every guy is the random i made out with saturday
I hurt. I blacked out in a onesie. Reevaluation needs to happen.
I've decided I'm peeing in a solo cup then throwing it on his windshield. It's official. He called the cops 4 times in our first week at the house. He deserves it, right?
Drunkasaurus has found a new cave to eat all the children she captured
I need to get you away from Bacardi 151 and out from under the bed
Even though he had a fractured vertebrae, the sex was still phenomenal. Better than normal actually. I hope the vertabrae never heals.
im so sad I can't openly talk about acid tab Sundays
I JUST WANTED TO GET SOME MOTHER FUCKING TACOS I AM SINGLE AS FUCK TACOS BRING PREOPLE TOGETHER OKAY
I feel awful. The bartender added me on Facebook and there's chips all over the bathroom floor
Changed all my ex bf's names to "no" in my phone so the next time I try to drunk text one of them it'll basically be like Russian roulette
Is using La Croix as a mixer for vodka a legit way to reach my daily water consumption?
Pillow talk?
can't do it. no eye contact either.
Where have you been all my life
he had a bulletproof vest and a pocket full of lollipops! how was i suppose to say no.
Randomize
