So how was last night?
Let's just say I danced with the devil
Huh?
I'm going to Hell for sure
She described it as "a squirrel being hit by a hurricane"
you were so high you spent the rest of the night smelling pepper to prove you can sneeze with your eyes open
We decided to smoke and then made crosses on our foreheads for ash wednesday
mom would be proud
This morning I proved to myself and all the kids on the playground that I can't puke and drive.
i feel as uncomfortable as your camel toe looks.
were lost, were cold and we don't know what to do with the stray cat we found.
You will receive a large, large reward, worth much more than the actual phone you are holding, paid not only in cash but in sexual favors, if you return this phone! Please respond if you're interested in cash/sex/or just being a good person. Thanks and hope to hear from you soon!
Hey, this is Travis. I just so intelligently deduced that I am in a college dorm somewhere in western oregon. Probably WOU, based on the process of elimination.
Ever walked into a basement full of 10 guys jerking it to a live stripper? Cause I have. Always confirm the address of a house party. Always.
And then she said "wanna make a vine of me twerking on the wall?"
Antibacterial soap and prayers does not for spermicide make
The guy whose house were at is drunkenly reading green eggs and ham to us in German
Married dude I had an affair with 10yrs ago was at table next to us at dinner last nite. My mom asked him to take a pic of us & then commented how cute he was as they left. Do I tell her he’s got a huge D too?
wheres my face? and why is my pocket so big?
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