So that's a yes to the cocaine usage and a no to the rollerblading
How far into the semester do we have to be before it's ok to get drunk in between classes again?
You don't know the meaning of what the fuck until you wake up naked and alone in someone's bed staring at a dead squirrel on their dresser.
Just sold this kid "Magic Furry Apples". He is way to high to figure out they are just peaches.
At least he's a nutritious stoner...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He keeps whispering to me that he can't wait to tie my hands up with my wig?
hey did i steal that bike before or after the ball dropped, casue i might have broken my resolution already
I never want to hear the words 'my therapist says . . . ' while naked again.
Come down. Bring Jorts. We're getting ready for this tricycle race like champions.
its sad im about to start saving up for how drunk i need to be for the holidays
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I've woke up in his bed 4 out of the past 6 mornings. I feel like this might be the time to learn more about him then his first name and what kind of beer he drinks.
I said "I am wrapped in the Cocoon Of Comfort! You should go." He started to argue and I yelled "COCOON OF COMFORT!!!" silencing him
The profile of her ass is just unreal. Weird way to use profile I know, but never more accurate
Status: mom bitching about grandma not shutting the fuck up, while not shutting the fuck up. Dear Jesus give me strength or more bourbon.
My liver is screaming fuck you right now.
You know it's a pretty bad night when an injured penis is not the worst thing that happened to you. Fuck tequila
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