doug butabi!
steve butabi!
hotties wanna shake it
And then I watched some old guy get arrested for meeting some other old guy for a blow job. It was epic.
So I just walked into the bathroom, and there was this kid, talking to his mom, while taking a shit. I flushed the toilet next to him and heard him say into the phone, "No, I'm not. I'm in my dorm."
i'm not sure if i'm mentally prepared for this.. politeness? proper grammar? book reader ? this is a whole new meaning of the species penis for me.
something had to give and with her weight the coffee table never stood a chance
Remember when I booked a hotel room for next sat? Nneither do I.
Walking in to my alcoholic Assessment meeting with a black eye = 40% awkward 60% awesome
I HAVE A PIGEON IN MY JACKET.
Trumps. I've been wiping my ass with fast food napkins for 3 days.
But yesterday I literally met half his family buzzed wearing a cheeta print bathing suit super short shorts and a tiny tank top.. I was like awesome
No like you've drunkenly persistently tried to take your shirt off in the middle of a park filled with children. You had already thrown your bra at my crotch.
You know you need to get it together when a frat guy wakes you up and says you need to go to class
Am I just high or is she having an auction for her vagina on Twitter
He also sent me nipple clamps because romance is NOT dead
dude I fucking saw you snort tequila
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