3 inches of snow, below zero windchill and i just saw a dude in a wrangler with no doors, shorts a beanie and burton snow goggles. God i love college in colorado
MCAT status: Day 64, no longer can remember what sex is like.
You're welcome to join, but just to warn you, tequila makes my clothes disappear. And I'm telling you that as an adult to an adult, not as your supervising teacher who decides whether or not you graduate.
My nose hurts from that stripper beating me with her tits
I would feel bad that's he's locked out naked, but the world should really see that.
I told the cop to try walking in heels and he'd understand why I was walking home without then on. He told me he only does that on Wednesdays.
I think now I understand why people say my penis is pretty.
If you are breathing, I want you at your house. No non-breathing-related excuses.
Dumb decision of the night...walking home drunk and smelling my pepper spray
When that wave blew your top off I heard someone yell "SPANK BANK"
As a former fat girl, that's probably the best compliment I've ever received ever!
A guy in a gorilla mask got blown on the lawn. And then the night got weird.
Dude respond to my evite. You're either coming to the orgy or not.
No, you are in the clear. The police officer finally just said "I give up" and walked away.
I was drunk, but not drunk enough to forget I had some dude on his knees begging for forgiveness.
Two questions: is there going to be a bathroom at this party, and can we fuck in it. This will define whether or not I enjoy going to parties with you.
Randomize
