I saw his package. It spoke to me.
Pot didnt help. Now Im even sadder but now im afraid of the clouds and the crickets.
I wish they had a "No Yankees" filter on status updates.
I just stepped on my own foot and apologized to my shoe... THAT high.
i dont even feel safe using a push mower...that hungover
I don't know, but I don't want you to think its ok to show up at my house at 4 am with a gorilla suit and a bucket of pinnapple and think id be ok with it
you made them have somersault races with you thru the lobby..
We broke two of his toes while having sex. He laughed said he'd fix it in the morning and kept going. I think I'm in love
On my way home I stopped at target and bought beer and galoshes. I am a planner.
We're gonna take a moment of silence to pray... that his penis is as pretty and as talented as his brothers.
You know it's nice having a girlfriend who will lotion your balls for you
fuck it. im taking monday off to do some Jagering.
There's like a dolphin trainer convention here or something. I will parlay this trip to Vegas into riding Shamu if its the last thing I do.
The only downside to doctor sex is that getting choked with a stethoscope leaves marks.
Her 4ft mother helped 5ft10 passed out me from the car to my girlfriend's bed at 1am...with whopper in hand
Randomize
